Three times a day or once every three days? How often should you have sex?

Preface

For many couples, the frequency of sex is often an unavoidable topic of discussion.

Some people find having sex three times a day exciting, while others think once every three days is just right.

So how often is normal? Is once a week too little? Let's talk about this issue today.

Finally, whether you have sex three times a day or once every three days, it doesn't matter. The most important thing is that both of you enjoy it, are healthy, and have a harmonious relationship. That is the ideal state.

Is having sex three times a day normal?

If it's just an occasional day, for example, when both partners are in good condition and feel like it, having sex three times a day is actually okay.

However, if it happens every day, it might be a bit excessive.

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Why is having sex three times a day considered too much?

It can lead to premature aging of the sexual organs

Excessively frequent sexual activity keeps the sexual organs in a state of prolonged excitement and congestion, which can lead to a decline in sexual function.

Over time, it may also result in a decrease in libido.

It places a heavy physical burden on the body, leading to fatigue

Sexual activity is physically demanding, and frequent sexual activity can cause lower back pain, leg weakness, and poor mental state.

Many men may feel they can handle it, but it’s important to remember that women often feel fatigued more easily than men.

It affects semen quality

After ejaculation, men need time for semen to replenish.

Frequent sexual activity may lead to excessive ejaculation, resulting in reduced semen volume and quality.

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Increased risk of minor injuries and inflammation

Excessive friction can cause minor abrasions or swelling in the penis and vagina, and increase the likelihood of inflammation.

For example, men may develop prostatitis, while women may experience vaginitis, vulvitis, or pelvic congestion, leading to symptoms such as lower back pain and a heavy sensation in the lower body.

Is having sex once every three days appropriate?

Compared to three times a day, having sex once every three days is actually closer to the state of most healthy couples.

Many doctors also recommend that having sex 2-3 times a week is a suitable frequency.

Benefits of regular sex

Relieve stress

Sex stimulates the body to release dopamine and other ‘happy hormones,’ which relaxes the mind and naturally reduces stress.

Sleep better

Sexual activity causes the body to release prolactin, a hormone that helps relax the nervous system, aids in falling asleep, and improves sleep quality.

Strengthen emotional bonds

Sexual activity is an important component of intimate relationships.

Harmonious sexual activity can make the relationship more stable and increase intimacy.

Is having sex only once a month too infrequent?

If two people have a steady partner but only have sex once a month, or even less, this is often not a good sign.

It may affect the stability of the relationship

A lack of sexual activity can make the relationship between two people monotonous and distant, and may also lead to sexual repression, which is detrimental to the relationship in the long run.

Unfriendly to male sperm quality

According to the WHO Manual on Human Semen Analysis and Processing, it is recommended to abstain from sexual activity for 2–7 days before a semen analysis.

If abstinence exceeds 7 days, sperm may age within the body, thereby affecting quality.

Women are prone to hormonal imbalances

Long-term deliberate suppression of sexual desire can lead to anxiety and irritability, which may disrupt hormonal balance over time.

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How often is the most appropriate frequency for sexual activity?  

There is no universal standard.

The most important thing is that both parties feel comfortable and happy, without feeling pressured by either too frequent or too infrequent encounters.

A simple ‘sexual frequency formula’：

The tens digit of your age × 9, where the tens digit represents the number of days and the ones digit represents the recommended frequency.

For example:

• 20s: 2 × 9 = 18 → 8 times in 10 days
• 30s: 3 × 9 = 27 → 7 times in 20 days
• 40s: 4 × 9 = 36 → 6 times in 30 days
• 50s: 5 × 9 = 45 → 5 times in 40 days
• 60s: 6 × 9 = 54 → 4 times in 50 days

Of course, this is just a rough guideline and doesn't need to be followed strictly.

As long as both partners feel comfortable and satisfied, that's the best frequency.

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Summary

If you find that you often feel tired, have lower back pain, or experience discomfort in your private parts after sex, you may need to reduce the frequency.

If you haven't had sex for a long time and feel irritable and distant from your partner, you can also actively communicate with them to see how you can restore intimacy.

Finally, whether you have sex three times a day or once every three days, it doesn't matter.

The most important thing is that both of you enjoy it, are healthy, and have a harmonious relationship. That is the ideal state.

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